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Disillusioned with the war, Shindara has secluded himself in the temples of Heian-kyō. However, he is forced out of hiding when a strange new threat emerges against the city.

He soon finds himself at the center of a conspiracy that will lead him to forge unlikely alliances and make even greater enemies.

Shindara is determined to avoid a disaster like the one he caused in Namida. With Mikoto and Hachi by his side, he believes he can find a way—even if the omens are telling him otherwise.

If I Remain, dark fantasy romantasy novel author Nathan Wilson and S. E. Nin

Lovers brave the darkness

in a swansong for the dear and the damned...

Shindara and Mikoto flee from a long list of enemies they’ve made:

a vengeful Shōgun, a jealous ex-husband, and a father with delusions of honor killing.


At the heart of the storm stands Izanami, a woman whose presence ignites both suspicion and deadly allure. For Shindara, she represents another chance at the love he thought he lost. For others, she is the embodiment of the enemy they fear, leading them down a path of imminent disaster rather than away from it.

A loyal friend and a confused foe might make all the difference now. Whether alone or not, one constant will always remain the same. 

Shindara has come too far to fail in the end.

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